Do the Zombie Workout: It’ll Leave You Dead Tired

Halloween night is just four weeks away and some of you might have chosen a more risque outfit, perhaps a belly dancer or a French maid.  You better be in great shape to pull those off so we present the Zombie Workout, exercises that will scare the fat cells right off of you.

And while we’re having some fun with the Zombie Workout’s silly name, these exercises are real and will work quite well … trust me, you’ll feel ‘em.

Zombie Walk: Hold 2 to 5 pound weights in your hands, palms facing the floor.  Raise your arms out in front of you and walk slowly around the house.  Move your arms in small circles inward for 30 seconds, then circle them outward for another 30 seconds.  Following this, rotate your palms to face each other and slowly bring them in and out as if pretending to grab your prey.  Do this for one minute.  This is a great arm workout; you’ll wish your arms would just drop off afterwards.

Psycho Killer Ax Chops: Hold a 5 to 10 pound weight (slightly heavier than what you used in the last exercise) in both hands.  Draw your hands away from your body, raising them high over one shoulder, then move them quickly down to the opposite hip as if hacking into your victim.  As you come across the body, bend your knees into the motion.  Repeat this action between (Friday the) 13 and 20 times, then switch sides.  Make sure you maintain control through the entire motion, don’t just fling.  Great for abs, obliques, shoulders, and arms.

Cauldron Stir: Bubble, bubble, your arms are in trouble.  Use the same weight as above, holding it in both hands chest high.  Move the dumbbell in a circular motion as if you’re boiling up a witch’s brew.  Do 20 in one direction, then 20 in the other.  When you change directions, switch the position of your hands so that the lower one is now on top.  Feel free to chant incantations or mutter swear words as you feel the burn.  This tones your arms, shoulders, back, and core.

Vampire Sprints: You’ll need some room to do this like a hallway or a basement.  Start at one end of an open area and break into an all-out run as if trying to catch up to unsuspecting prey.  Pause for a millisecond at the end of your run and immediately turn and run back at full sprint again.  Do 20 times back and forth (40 legs all together.)  Great for cardio, core, and legs.  For an added challenge, feel free to don a cape for additional resistance

Damsel in Distress: Using the same space as above, run backwards as quickly as you can as if you’re being pursued by a chainsaw-wielding psychopath. We don’t recommend it, but you’ll burn extra calories if you fall and have to get back up quickly. But whatever you do, DON’T HIDE IN THAT CLOSET!  Retreat 10 times back and forth (20 legs all together).  This is great for calves, glutes, and cardio.  (Please note, while this is a great exercise, be extra careful and don’t bump into anything. And we were kidding about the extra points for falling. But not about the closet.)

Spider Crawl: Stay in the open area you used for running.  Get down on your hands and knees as if you’ve just crawled out from an open grave.  Lift your knees off the ground and crawl as far as you can on your hands and toes, then turn and head back.  You should use your opposite hand and foot to scuttle across the floor.  The lower you stay to the ground, the harder you’ll be working, and the further away from your body that you can plant your hands and feet, the harder you’ll be working.  Do 5 to 10 laps back and forth (10 to 20 legs all together.)  Remember, returning from the dead is exhausting.

That’s it, the Zombie Workout.  At the end of this 25 to 30 minute session, you’ll have burned between 250 and 350 calories and be dead tired.  Let me know how you do!