A little sunshine to pretty up the everyday world

With the start of the new year, we have the chance to take stock of our lives and think about new goals.  Often as we do this, we add up the plusses and the negatives.

It’s pretty darned easy to focus on those negatives, isn’t it?  The shoulda, coulda, wouldas that nag, nag, nag at us.  Just stop now! I’d like to introduce a little concept: self-love.

I’m not going to get all woo-woo on you (to use Jonathan Fields‘ term).  I’m an urbanite like him and I have to deal with the reality of paying rent, keeping employees employed, and making sure my kid is fed, clothed, and generally happy.

By self-love, I just mean stop the negative talk.  Just stop.  I know it’s a tape recording that’s been going on an endless loop in your head since your parents, siblings, and schoolmates put it there, but why on earth are you letting them still have power over you?  Let it go.

If you need to, try a ritual.  My personal fave is something I did just a few nights ago: I wrote out all those negative thoughts on a piece of paper and then burnt it in the fireplace on New Year’s Eve.  I do this every year with whatever negative self-talk has crept in; it’s pretty cathartic and takes all of five minutes.   Then I write down a few positives and pick one or two to use as a mantra.  My all-time favorite mantra is simple: “chugga, chugga.” I just keep going and eventually I’ll get there.  It’s a miraculous saying for me and works every time.

Lots of Positives

There are lots of positives in your life, I know there are!  The people who love you, the tasks you do well, the joy you get from hobbies, the power you feel from your body’s strength, the love you feel when you care for others.  Acknowledge them, share them, enjoy them!

Way back in college, I had a class where we did practice psych evaluations on each other.  Mine came back as a “Pollyanna-ish view of life.”  I laughed when I heard it because I am always trying to look at the bright side and, yes, my family nickname growing up was Sunshine.  I am always trying to find the positive.  Honestly, once you get used to it, it’s pretty easy.

So take a moment and look around and smile at what you’ve got.  Think of those dear people you hug and kiss and the relationships that are the glue of your life.  Don’t worry about the shoulda, couldas; just make a few adjustments and keep looking for the next good thing.  Life will be a whole lot brighter.

Cheers,

Lisa

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