The Reluctant Hubby: Revolutionary Workouts

A Reluctant Hubby of Colonial times, George Washington crossed the Delaware but let others paddle

In honor of today being Presidents’ Day, which was called Washington’s Birthday back when I was growing up, I’d like to sell you a car! Actually, I wanted to look back, about 225 or so years ago, and talk about the workouts that hubbys did back in Colonial times.

Our Founding Fathers were a fit crew; they had to be in order to repel the British and start a new country well before the Internet was invented. Sure there was plenty of farming and cobbling and ‘smithing that needed to be done, but a diet of cured meat and ale required additional workout regimens to help the men of the late 18th century fit into their breeches.

How did they do it? Through a number of specialized exercises that allowed them to concentrate on individual body parts.

Tea Toss. The back and legs can’t be ignored, and to keep these muscles strong, men of the time would find the nearest crate of tea, lift it over head, and throw it as far as they could. Did you know that the Boston Tea Party was not an organized protest but actually just an evening boot camp class?

Cardio Kite Flying. This was the nation’s first extreme sport and throughout the colonies men would run through fields flying kites to stay fit. Of course it was Ben Franklin who added the extreme element with the thunderstorms, not to discover electricity, but solely so he could score with the women of France.

Cherry Tree Chop. This was all about keeping the core in shape, especially the obliques. As the abs strengthened, heavier axes could be used. Usually it entailed multiple reps, swinging from each direction to fall the tree.

The Big Sig. When the arms needed toning, patriots would reach for the feather pen and start practicing their signatures. Unfortunately this often resulted in imbalanced biceps and triceps between both arms. As you can imagine, John Hancock was the Schwarzenegger of the time with his masterful strokes.

But not all our Founding Fathers actively engaged in healthful living; my studies have shown that Thomas Jefferson was the first-recorded Reluctant Hubby in history. In fact, it was Jefferson’s wife who inspired many of the lines of the preamble of the U.S. Constitution when she told him that if he wanted to form a more perfect marital union and insure domestic tranquility around Monticello, then he was going to need to do a better job of promoting his own general welfare or else there would be no posterity-making going on any time soon.

After all, I can not tell a lie.

Previously on The Reluctant Hubby: Walk & Talk, People

About Greg Wymer

Greg Wymer is Principal and Chief of Creative for Healthy Dose Media. He was an award-winning radio copywriter and morning show producer for WFNX-FM in Boston in the 1990s, and in the 2000s won Best Viral Marketing Campaign and Best Non-Profit Campaign for his work with e-tractions, a provider of custom online entertainment. Before launching Healthy Dose Media, he spent 10 years at the MIT Enterprise Forum working as a developer of programs, content, and marketing for a global audience of startups and entrepreneurs. Greg has been a mobile and club DJ for 25 years, created and ran a pub trivia night called Useless Trivia, and is on the Board of Directors of ImprovBoston, where he performed as a cast member of its Mainstage for seven years.

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