The Reluctant Hubby: Hips Don’t Lie

Happy Halloween

Two men in search of candy

I did a 5K on Halloween. There was no running involved; it was the distance covered as I took my son and his friends trick-or-treating. I just clocked the mileage on Map My Run. Officially, myself as LMFAO and my son as an Evil Jester walked 3.27 miles. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. And living in a fairly urban setting allowed us to secure a very impressive candy-per-mile ratio.

Near the end of the night, as the streets became more and more deserted of revelers, and more and more houses had turned off their porch lights or put up signs saying “Sorry — Out of Candy,” I felt a sharp pain in my right hip. Almost as if a very short vampire had stuck his fangs into me. It came out of nowhere and suddenly I was limping.

What the hell, Shakira? Hips don’t lie indeed. When I got home, I asked this blog’s namesake, you know, the fitness professional and anatomy buff, what the heck might be wrong with me. She didn’t really know, but told me to try and stretch things out. I got down on the floor and tried a handful of “yogic” positions to see if I could discover a reason for the sudden discomfort. No luck.

The sharpness had turned into a dullness at least, but it seemed as if rest was what was needed. Yet, it was only a 5K distance traveled, and not even running. I do this kind of stuff all the time. Please don’t tell me this is just one of the pleasurable benefits of being 46. That sometimes things just … hurt. Congratulations, you should expect your first AARP solicitation mailing any day now.

The next morning the hip was still a bit sore. I did some more stretching and felt some tightness in my gracilis (the fitness professional gave me that one … you and I call it the “inner thigh”) and getting it loose helped my hip feel better. It really is surprising how the hip bone is connected to the leg bone.

So here we are, the quandary we face in our forties, something the “hipsters” don’t need to worry about. We need to be active in order to feel good, but if we’re too active, we won’t feel good. You know what, I’m just going to eat some of my son’s Halloween candy. That will make me feel good no matter what.

Previously on The Reluctant Hubby:It’s Been a Year …

About Greg Wymer

Greg Wymer is Principal and Chief of Creative for Healthy Dose Media. He was an award-winning radio copywriter and morning show producer for WFNX-FM in Boston in the 1990s, and in the 2000s won Best Viral Marketing Campaign and Best Non-Profit Campaign for his work with e-tractions, a provider of custom online entertainment. Before launching Healthy Dose Media, he spent 10 years at the MIT Enterprise Forum working as a developer of programs, content, and marketing for a global audience of startups and entrepreneurs. Greg has been a mobile and club DJ for 25 years, created and ran a pub trivia night called Useless Trivia, and is on the Board of Directors of ImprovBoston, where he performed as a cast member of its Mainstage for seven years.

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4 Responses to The Reluctant Hubby: Hips Don’t Lie

  1. KellyJMF November 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

    We’re old now so we need to stretch and wear supportive shoes before Trick-or-Treating.

    It also helps to take your anti-inflammatory of choice *before* you go.

    I had a similar “what-the what now?” moment when I got home from standing outside for 6 hours in the cold at a Girl Scout cookie booth a couple of years ago and needed to rest on the couch for the rest of the day with a heating pad and a bottle of NSAIDs.

  2. Ashley November 6, 2012 at 8:09 am #

    That’s a pretty long walk, you should make sure you stretch (for at least 15 minutes before AND after) doing that amount again. Also I’d recommend doing some hip rolls to reduce the pain and strengthen those muscles.

  3. Deb November 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    I will only whisper that was the similar pain that eventually signalled a hip replacement for me. For weeks I thought I pulled a groin muscle…

    Make sure your fitness professional helps you stretch and release those supportive muscles, and strengthen the big movers. If you sit a lot (who doesn’t) you might have weak hamstrings/glutes.

  4. Lisa Johnson November 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    Deb, I would be the fitness professional :-) I’m on it! L–

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