Hey there! I’m on vacation this week and offering up some of my favorite and most popular posts. This was originally published last February. Enjoy.
Today on Twitter someone asked me how a guy could ask out a girl at a health club without looking like a “perv.” I laughed. I work in a gym, I’ve been in the fitness industry for 14 years, and I’ve seen many attempts, most of them failing badly. So I thought I’d offer some guidelines to the “Cardio Casanovas” of the world.
1. Don’t ask a girl out the first time you see her. Try to hit the gym a little more frequently and figure out her schedule. You ran into her once already so it should be pretty easy to eventually see her again. Plus, by going to the gym more, you’ll look better even if nothing else comes from it…it’s a win/win.
2. Just smile. Don’t strike up a conversation at first, just smile once or twice and let her know you’re around. Of course if she engages, by all means have a great conversation. Just keep it light.
3. Once she gets used to seeing you at the gym, start making small comments. Here’s a good trick: if she’s a treadmill gal, ask her if she’s getting ready for a race. This is a great way to open the door to conversation. Another trick is to comment on her T-shirt; wait for her to sport a college jersey or a road race tee and then ask her about it. She’ll almost definitely respond.
4. Enlist the gym staff. If the staff thinks you’re cool, it’s likely they’ll help you. Become friendly with a couple of the staff members you see regularly. The front desk workers know all the members and are likely to know who’s available and who has a boyfriend. Wait for a quiet moment at the desk and ask politely. I can tell you from personal experience, the staff thinks it’s fun to help hook people up.
5. Another tip I wish more men would try: take a group exercise class. Look for the less “girlie” classes offered by your gym and head on in. You get lots of points for trying. Really.
Here’s why it’s so hard to hit on women in a gym setting: we’re scantily clad, we’re all pink and out of breath, we are not looking our best. We assume you are looking at the scantily clad bits and not our “inner beauty.” Dropping a quick line that might work at a cocktail party or a bar will not work at the gym because we feel more vulnerable.
And don’t forget, women who work out at gyms regularly don’t want to have to shift their schedules around to avoid you. We’ve got a lot to lose if you turn out to be a jerk, so we will always take our time before we say yes to a date from a guy at the gym.
If you’ve got any tips of your own, I’d love to read ’em. Keep them clean please. :-)
Thanks to @runnrgrl for inspiring this post.